If we just had a little more…

What he said: “I need an MRI.”

What it meant: “I need a simple test that will turn out to cost us a lot of money at a time when our car insurance premiums are due and we’re trying to save for something else.”

I’m grateful for that MRI. It showed that Charlie’s rotator cuff in his shoulder was not torn after all, which is a HUGE praise. The pain he’s been experiencing for years isn’t the result of a tear and it’s something we can manage when it flares up. That is a huge blessing.

But a few weeks after receiving the wonderful news that he doesn’t need surgery, we received the bill for the blessed MRI that told us that fact.

I did not receive that bill with the same gratitude that I received the test result.  My mind cycled through frustrated, worried thoughts.  Why is this test so stinking expensive? Why is it that we can’t seem to make headway on our savings goals lately? I’m grateful we have enough each month to pay for the things that keep coming up, but I’d really like to be storing up more extra money than we are for some other things.

“Life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” Luke 12:15

Oh.

Thanks, Lord. Seriously, I needed that reminder in the early morning quiet this morning.

After this verse comes the parable of the rich man who tore down his barns in order to build bigger barns to store all of his excess stuff in. After he stored away more than he needed, it says he finally relaxed. He had provided more than enough for himself, so he felt his burdens were relieved. Then the Lord told him his life was required that very night.  What do his extra possessions matter now?

The man was hoping that by having more than he needed, he would never be burdened.  God was saying that the relief of burdens is not in the possessions.

I struggle with the idea that if we just had a little more, my mind would be at ease. The hopes we have for our future would feel more attainable.  But what future am I imagining in which God will not provide what we need as we need it?  What faith do I have that I’m asking Him to give us more than we need right now “just in case?”

Life is not found in having more than we need for the present. Faith is not found in storing up provision “just in case” God doesn’t come through in the future.

Life is found in seeking God first.   Faith is found in acknowledging God as our Provider and trusting that when future needs arise, so will future provisions.

In this moment, I’m thankful that God provides for us to have the medical care we need. I trust that as we continue to seek Him first and be good stewards of His provisions, He will provide for us in the things we hope for on our horizon.  

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